A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.

They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

His wife asks, “Where do you go?”

“To the kitchen,” he replies.

“Can you give me a bowl of ice cream?”


“Do not you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” She asks.

“No, I can remember it.”

“Yes, I would like some strawberries on top, too. It is best to write it down, because you know that you will forget it. ”

He says: “I remember it! Would you like a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. ”

“I would also like whipped cream. I’m sure you will not forget it, so you’d better write it down! “She objected.

Irritated, he says, “I do not write it down, I remember it Leave me alone ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for God’s sake!” Then he complains to the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes the old man back from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and say … “Where’s my toast?

$ 500 LOAN

This may seem like a joke, but it really makes a lot of sense … business sense, horse sense and common sense ~~~~

An old Indian wanted a loan of $ 500.

Bank pulled out the loan application.
“What will you do with the money?” He asks the Indian.

“Buy Silver, make jewelry and sell it,” was the answer.

“What have you got for collateral?”

“Do not know collateral,” replied the Indian

“Well there is something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.
“Do you have any vehicles? ”

“Yes. 1949 Chevy pickup truck, “replied the Indian

The banker shook his head, “How about livestock?”

“Yes, I have a horse,” replied the Indian

“How old is it?” Asks the bank.

“Do not know, have no teeth,” replied the Indian

Finally, the bank decided to make the loan of $ 500.

Several weeks later, the old man back in the bank.
He pulled out a roll of bills, “Here to pay.” He said.
He then handed the bank money to pay their loans off.

“What will you do with the rest of the money?” Asks the bank.

“Put in Hogan,” replied the Indian

“Why not put it in my bank” the bank said.

“Do not deposit,” replied the Indian

“You put money in our bank and we take care of it for you.
To use it, you can take it out. ”

The old Indian leaned across the desk and ask the bank …
“What’s your security?”


Charismatic: Only one
hand already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: No
lights will go on and off at predetermined times.

Roman Catholic: No
, only light.

Baptists: At least 15
One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
A call electrician, one to mix drinks and to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon: 5
A man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

We choose not to make a statement either for or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, it is good. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light for the next Sunday service, where we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths the luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely, you loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Take the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: 6
A woman replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans do not believe in change.

What’s a light bulb?