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AIRSICK
A little guy gets on a plane and sit next to the window. A few minutes later, plops a large, heavy, strong, averaging out, clumsy guy down in the seat next to him and immediately fall asleep.The little guy is starting to feel a little airsick, but he is afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he could go to the bathroom. He knows he can not climb over him, and so the little guy sitting there, watching the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hit an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea pass through the little guy. He can not hold it in anymore and he pukes over the big guy’s chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down and sees the vomit on him.
“So,” says the little guy, “Do you feel better now?”
A BOTTLE OF WINE
A couple of tourists dining at a fine restaurant in Paris. After waiting for an hour, the man finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a bottle of the best wine,” he ordered.”What year?” Asked the waiter.
“Right now!” Roared the tourist.
DELETE A WORD
Ever noticed how you delete a word in a sentence can lead to a fine story?Here is an example:
Oh Jack, please do not touch me at all!
Oh Jack, please do not touch me!
Oh Jack, please do not touch me!
Oh Jack, please do not touch!
Oh, Jack, do not do it!
Oh, Jack, thank you!
Oh Jack!
Oh!
TOO LATE
When the coffin is lowered into the ground at a traffic warden funeral, a voice inside yells, “I’m not dead, I’m not dead, let me.”Incumbent smiles, leans forward to suck air through his teeth and muttering: “Too late buddy, I’ve already done the paperwork.”
SNAKE
“Hello! Is it a zoo? “”Yes. What is it?”
“A snake has crept into my home. I am so scared and do not know what to do. ”
“Are you a member of the Animal Protection Association?”
“No I am not.”
“A member of the Green Party?”
“No.”
“Then crush it with a shovel.”